Things Are Working Out

Currently, things are going really good for my family and I. There have been many improvements for the better that we couldn’t be happier about.

Lately, my son, Little #2 has been really good with his behavior. We have most of his behavior in check by doing a gentle positive approach with him and his sister. It’s been working really well with both of them! For the past two or three weeks, we haven’t had any accidents, violent incidents, or outbursts from my son. It’s been really helping with us practicing using our words and focusing on the positives instead of just the negatives. Little #1 has been doing really good about using her words as well and not lying. When I make sure she is involved with situations, it helps her a lot feel included so both Littles have equal attention from me. Right now I feel way closer to both of my Littles than ever before and so proud of them.

As long as I keep doing good in school and get at least a solid C in my classes, I will only have 8 classes to take before I am done with college. I will be taking three classes this summer semester and five classes this fall semester so that I will be done after that and will have my associates degree in Criminal Justice. I seriously am so excited and can’t wait to finally be done! I’ve been going to college since 2011 back and forth with different programs until last year when I finally found this program that I know I’m the right fit for and can see myself making a career out of it helping littles.

My Littles’ father and I are working on things right now and soon he will be living with us again. I can’t wait! Every time I’m around him, I get butterflies in my tummy all over again like I used to in the beginning of our relationship years almost 8 years ago. We are learning more about each other and building up our relationship again brand new. It’s better than ever. It’s all new though so it makes me nervous but I love it. I love him. He’s amazing as a father, friend, person, and man.

I’m trying to take the steps to be healthy again which is a big step for me. I haven’t been healthy or really in shape since before I had my Littles which was years ago. I miss it. I miss being able to run, jump around, and go up and down the stairs without running out of breath. I know I got this and can do it. But now I need to take the necessary steps to do so which I don’t really know what they are. At least I’m committed though. I guess that’s the biggest step. Any tips or suggestions would be awesome 🙂

I hope everything is going well with you and yours!

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Full Day #1 Of Trying New Things To Help My Littles

2/6/15
Full Day #1 Of Trying New Things To Help My Littles:

This whole week my son has came home with reports of bad choices, fights, lots of anger, etc. Except today!!!! What we tried this morning helped a million.

Now here is what we tried:
We all had a shake with vanilla whey, banana, and milk in it to get enough protein and show my son he isn’t alone in this. Both littles loved it!

Both littles had their new daily vitamins. They love them since they are chewy and yummy.

My son had a new herbal supplement. It’s called Focus For Children. It’s grape and chewable. He took it no problem.

We used our essential oil calming mix diluted with water body spray on both littles. They like the smell.

I was super nervous picking my littles up from school but when I did, my son told me that he had a great day with no bad choices and no accidents. I double checked his behavior notebook and yup, sure enough, he had an amazing day!! He had no issues, no fights, no accident, or anything!! I’m so proud of him!! We got this!!

Evening #1 Of Trying New Things To Help My Littles

2/5/2015
Evening #1 Of Trying New Things To Help My Littles:

Tonight we tried a essential oils blend diluted and one of a massage before bed. He did not fight or have a major melt down like normal. It really helped even a small bit. I could see a small improvement in him.

I’ve heard from other parents and a doctor about giving a little with ADHD some caffeine such as coffee and that it will have a reverse effect that it has on someone without ADHD. If given to a little with ADHD it will help calm them and help them to focus. I was kind of skeptical at first but we tried a small glass of coffee with creamer in it with my son tonight. He only drank half of it which was completely fine with me since I don’t want him to have a lot since it can have side effects. I was observing him for a while after he had it and I could actually see him start to calm down. He wasn’t yelling or hitting or freaking out or anything even when something triggered him. I talked with him when we were laying down for bed. He told me that he liked the coffee because it helped his head not spin. I asked what he meant about his head spin. He said that his head spins sometimes and he gets crazy. He said that he liked the coffee because he wanted to relax and it helped him. So I think I will do some more research and talk with his doctor about the coffee and see how often he can have it etc because I don’t want him having any side effects.

I’m so glad that we are getting to the bottom of this for the better of my son. It can only go up from here.

Little #2’s 6th Birthday Party

Today was my son, Little #2’s birthday party! I will total admit that when I was setting up two hours early with my other little at McDonald’s where his party was going to be, I was totally tearing up. Now don’t get me wrong, I have happy that he is turning 6 years old tomorrow. I’m beyond excited that he is! He’s grown so much into a handsome little man. But I’m also pretty sad too about it. For the first year or so, I missed out on enjoying every moment with him due to my postpartum depression. I didn’t get to enjoy all those firsts and moments with him. I was physically there but not the way I should have been. He’s not my little baby anymore either. He has grown so much into his own person. Soon, he will be grown up into a man and not want to have anything to do with me.

I will be happy and enjoy this moment while remaining positive. I still have lots of time with him left and will enjoy every minute of it. Little #2 may be growing up but he will always be my baby boy. I’m so proud of who he is and everything about him. I love him to the moon and back!

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Little #2’s January Birthday

Pretty soon it is my littles Little #2’s birthday in January. He will be 6 years old. I can’t believe it!

It’s kind of hard for me in a way during this time. Mainly because of my pregnancy with Little #2, almost giving him up for adoption, and the postpartum depression that I had that was beyond horrible with him. Just hurts about it everything in the past and I still feel horrible about everything.

My relationship with Little #2 has greatly changed and improved in a lot of ways. It still needs improvement but we’ve came a lot way. I just hope and pray that he will not be mad at me any longer and that we can fix this.

I’m so proud of my little #2. He is so smart, always making people laugh, offers to help others, is sensitive, thoughtful, inspiring, funny, loving, generous, and amazing. He has grown so much into a handsome young man. He means the whole world to me. Love my Little #2!

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Weekend

This weekend is supposed to be my weekend with my littles. But Little #2 really needed to spend some time with their dad badly. So he went to their dad’s last night for today and tomorrow morning. Little #1 and I are spending some time together which was much needed too. We are lounging around, eating ice cream, reading books, watching movies, talking, and cuddling. Very much needed. We are learning more and more about each other, getting closer, and spending time together. I’m so thankful for this time with her.

Christmas Programs

Yesterday my littles had their Christmas programs. They did amazing!! I’m so proud of them!! Little #1 had her 2nd Grade Christmas Program and Little #2 had his Kindergarten Christmas Program. I’m beyond proud that I was able to make it, that my sister made it, and that they did so amazing. They worked their butts off to do this and I’m so proud of them!!

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Little #1

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Little #2 with his glasses on

Hopefully Today Will Be Better

Last night was a horrible night for my son, Little #2. I thought everything was good since he finally had his Christmas program and he did amazing! He seen me and his aunt there. He was smiling up the storm! Of course, he was the loudest singer and knew all the actions/dances he needed to do! He loves to preform, dance, and sing. I was so proud of him and still am.

My sister gave me a ride to pick him and his sister, Little #1, up from school and when he seen me, he had such a sad face on. I think he wanted their dad to pick him up and was sad since he didn’t.

The rest of the evening, was horrible. Little #2 didn’t want anything to do with me or anyone else except their dad, who was at work. He kept screaming, crying, throwing a big fit, not listening, slamming doors, yelling, and having a major melt down all because he wanted their dad. It was so frustrating and heart breaking at the same time. Their dad works lots of hours out of town so sometimes can’t see them every day but makes sure he can call about every day. They also see him lots of weekends or every other weekend. It’s beyond hard for them and heart breaking for them when their dad was living with us for a year after barely seeing him for years before and now they got really close with him all over again.

It’s so hard because no matter what I try or do, I can’t soothe him at all or fix the problem. I know littles don’t always need or want someone to fix their problems for them, I learned that in counseling so now I do understand. Most of the time, they want someone to sympathize and be there for them by supporting, encouraging, and understanding them. So that’s what I’ve been trying to do and also find different ways to soothe him such as cuddling, talking about our feelings or about other things, and being there but it never works! All he wants is their dad but I can’t get him to be here or fix the problem for him. Last night, after a bunch of talks between him and his dad which helped a bit, he calmed down a bit but then was still sad so I agreed he could lay with me in my bed. I tried rubbing his back, singing to him, cuddling with him, holding him, etc. But none of it worked. He ended up crying in my arms to sleep for their dad. I was so heart broken. This happens at least twice a week that he has these meltdowns about wanting their dad.

Breakups are hard for littles. I’m so scared to ever get in a bother relationship because of fear if it doesn’t work out or they leave or something happens and the affect it will have on my littles and myself but mostly my littles. I want to put my littles in a big bubble to protect them from everyone and everything but of course I can’t.

Sometimes life is hard and stinks. People come and go. Breakups are hard, especially for littles. Also very hard when you can’t soothe or fix the problem for your littles.

Hopefully today will be better.