These Three

My Littles and our dog are seriously the best. They really are. Everything about them, is pure awesomeness. They light up my world and make everything worth it, even the days filled with stomping screaming crying meltdowns and the mornings where I wake up drenched in pee soaked bedding from them. I wouldn’t change being their mommy for the world. Even on the days that I just want to pull put all my hair and give up, they give me the motivation to keep going because of them.

So when I wake up to this this morning:

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My life is magically complete just with these three beautiful faces staring up at me counting on me. They are my world. They truly are.

006/365 Project

I’ve decided to do the 365 Project even though I’m a little late on it! I thought it would be super neat to look back after this year on one picture of every day of the year. Can’t wait to be able to do that!
Here is mine for today!
006/365
The biggest baby in our home. She helped save us in many ways. So thankful for her!

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Molly our baby

Molly

Around June or July of this past summer, 2014, I was very lonely, depressed, and going through a lot with my littles and their father. I decided I wanted a pet. I was thinking about what kind of pet to get. I really wanted a pet that would lay with me, be able to play with us, and would like to spend time with us. I’ve had cats, fish, and a rabbit before. I’ve tried to have a dog before but was living in a itty bitty 2 bedroom apartment with my littles and didn’t have enough room for her so had to get rid of her. I decided I wanted a dog again since now we had a bigger place now with three floors and a small backyard and also a small front yard. Once I say something that I’m going to do it, I do it to the fullest no matter what anyone says or thinks. So i began looking all over groups on Facebook and Craigslist for a dog. I seen numerous dogs that I thought would be a good dog for my family. But then I seen her. Her name is Molly. She was on a group on Facebook that I’m apart of. When my little’s and I met her, we fell in love that day with her. She was a little nervous we could tell but friendly and came up to us to smell us. The previous owners told us about her and we got to pet her. We got her the same day. It was instant love. Not really at first with her and my little’s father because she has a problem with men but she has came around to him for the most part now. She instantly became my littles and my best friend. Her and I instantly had the best bond ever. She follows me around any where I go inside or outside. Molly is always sleeping in my bed with me being a total bed hog. Anywhere I go, she has to go, even if I’m going in the bathroom or the shower. My littles and her are so close. They are always playing games together and laying together. Molly has helped save my littles, their father, and I. She is the perfect dog for us and is a part of our family. We’ve been through a lot with her because of our crazy neighbor but Molly is the best. She always is there exactly when we need her, never leaves our sides, and has saved us even though we thought we were saving her.

Before we got Molly, I was very depressed. I didn’t want to get out of bed ever really and was mad at everything and everyone. I was so tired of everyone leaving my life for whatever reason and just leaving me suffering and hurting. I was pretty sure the relationship I was in with my littles’ father was going to end soon since we were going through a hard time and I was convinced he was going to leave us soon again like in the past. I didn’t know how to handle that but it was always in my head so I was so mad and hurt and would do anything and everything to try to push him away before he could push us away and leave us again. I was at my wits end with my littles, their father, and everything in life. I was feeling stuck in life and in the depression I was in. I would get out of bed to take care of my littles’ needs but would go right back up to my bed right after their needs were met. My family was going through a hard time with some issues and still are. My little sister Molly was greatly affected by the issues that were happening. I wasn’t sure I would be able to see her again for a very long time or be able to see my other sisters for a long time as well. My sister and I were pretty close as we got older. I wasn’t the good older sister to her as I should be and didn’t really know how to be. I was devastated that there was was a chance I wouldn’t be able to see my little sister Molly again or my other sisters.

After we got Molly, I was motivated in a big way to exactly get up out of bed every day now because Molly had to go outside to go potty every day all day and had needs that had to be met. My littles had needs too that would always be met between my littles’ father and I but now this was a big change to be up all day with them and Molly. I was smiling more for the first time in years. I actually had the motivation to do things, like to active such as cooking and playing with my littles. I was starting to be happy. My littles were happy. Their father was more active with us and Molly. He was very supportive and helped out a lot. I was working my way through things about what was going on with my family and the issues they were going through. Having Molly was a perfect way to help that in a lot of ways. I still felt connected to my little sister Molly since I had my dog Molly. I was no longer depressed about that. Even my doctors and therapist seen the change in me. Things were going very well.

After things went bad towards their father and I, Molly was still there for us. She still remained by our sides and still cared for us. Every day, she is there for us. Every night we can count on her to be there in one of our beds, mostly mine, sleeping with us. She is the best dog ever.

Molly had a great impact in our lives. I’m so thankful for her being in our lives and helping save us.

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First Day of Winter Break

We actually survived our first day of my littles’ winter break. Barely survived but did thanks to my sister. Today was full of meltdowns, movies, coloring, pictures, feeding Molly our dog, arguing, screaming,  jumping on everything,  dancing, laughing, crying, pizza, more movies, loud music toys, bickering, snack eating, nephew and niece and aunt time, errands, learning how to make taco dip, picking up accidents that Molly had, finding ants, rain, coldness, no cleaning really, and lots of other things.

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Four Years Ago

As I lay here listening to my littles sleep while I look on my Timehop app for the day, I can’t help but think about everything we have went through, where we have been, where we are now, and everything we have accomplished.

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Little #2 almost 2

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Little #1 around 3

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These are the pictures I see on my Timehop app today from four years ago. Such adorable pictures of my littles. Brings back so much.

Little #1 was around 3 and Little #2 was almost 2.

At the time, we were living at one of my older sister’s homes with her and her family as they let us live with them for a while out of the goodness of their heart. We were and still are very thankful for that and everything they did, as long with everything everyone has done for us.

We were living there staying in my niece’s room and mostly staying in there. Most of our things were in there on a couch packed away in tubs and boxes. My littles and I slept on two thick blankets for padding. That was our home at the time. We did most things in the room and stayed in there most of the time. We didn’t have a Christmas tree or a Christmas really that year or the year before. I was in between jobs and couldn’t keep a job if my life depended on it. Where we lived it was kind of crowded in a way but we loved it because we were with our loved ones that we were starting to get to know. I was just getting out of the postpartum depression funk I was in which was major. My little’s father and I were in a very bad place as parents and couldn’t go without arguing and fighting no matter what. My older sisters, one of their fiancé’s, and my niece helped us out a lot about parenting, disciplining, transportation, babysitting, daycare, job hunting, encouraging, motivating, grocery shopping, cooking, etc. They did so much. I’m so thankful for all that they have done.

Now, four years from then, a lot has changed.

My littles and I live in a three bedroom townhome. It’s beautiful. We have our own rooms, have a main floor with a upstairs and a basement, have two bathrooms, and can afford it no matter what. We have our dog Molly who is a big part of our lives and family. We have more love than before. We have a lot on track and going for us. All of us are getting the help we need with counseling which has greatly helped. We have good friends. My littles go to an amazing school that has helped so much. We live in an amazing community that really helps others. We live within walking distance from a grocery store and the public bus stops. I’m going to college and am doing so good. We actually have a direction in which our lives are going. We are learning more about appreciation, respect, giving, and helping others.

Not everything is perfect right now and nothing will be. That’s just fine with us. We have accepted that. We are making due with how our lives are and going to always continue to push forward.

So thankful for everyone and everything that has helped us in the past, present, and future.

A lot has changed over the years. Can’t wait to see how else things change years from now!

Tomorrow

As I lay here listening to the peaceful breathing of both littles, our dog, and the baby I babysit sleep, I can’t help but think about how I should have done better today. Somehow I could have and should have.

The way I responded to their questions, cries, and barks. The way I communicated with all of them. The way I presented myself to all of them. The way I spent time with all of them. The way I know they would have loved me to be.

But I know tomorrow is a new day.

Tomorrow will be better. It has to be.

Tomorrow I will be better. I will spend time with them. I will respond with respect. I will give them the attention they need. I will be there for all of them. I will be the way they love me to be.

Perfect Moment

Currently I’m laying in my bed with Little #1 passed out holding my arm on my left side all cuddled up to me snoring away, Little #2 passed out holding my other arm on my right side all cuddled up to me with his leg even pushed onto my back, and our dog Molly all spread out on my bare feet snoring away as well. All four of us taking up my whole bed; thank goodness for a king size bed or this would not go as well lol!

This right is the moment I can’t wait for all day, especially when I’ve been missing them all weekend while they are at their dads for his home on his weekends.
#BeyondBlessed #PerfectMoment

Day 10 Blog Challenge

Day 10 Blog Challenge: Write about your pet.

I have a dog. We got her in June or July of this year. Her name is Molly. She’s two years old but the biggest baby in our home. She has helped save me and my littles and taught us a lot. Here are some things she has taught us:

1. It’s always play time. No matter what time it is, where we are, or what we are doing, it’s always time to play.

2. She will always find the trash and destroy it. Doesn’t matter if it’s in the bathroom with the door shut, in the kitchen in the closet, or by the basement stairs with the basement door shut. She always finds it and destroys it. I swear she is the trash queen. She loves it. Even stinky diapers from babies. Even if there’s nothing in it! She will find it and destroy the bag then. It never ends lol.

3. It is possible for an animal to be your best friend. I can tell you that for sure. She is my little’s best friend and mine. She’s always there when we need her, can always put a smile on our faces, and never turns her back on us. She is the best.

4. She will always come to the rescue. Every time we are lonely, having a bad day, or having a hard time, she’s there. Always.

5. She never judges us. Even if we are losing our temper and having the worst day possible and make a huge mistake, she will forgive you and be there. Through thick and thin.

6. If it’s yours, it’s mine. We could be eating pizza, a cupcake, or liver and she will always want some and think it’s hers. She believes that what is ours, is hers.

7. There will always be a mess somewhere. Seriously. She makes messes with her bones, toys, and the trash. Also anything else she can get into to. Every where we turn, there’s a mess. Big or small. From her, me, or my littles. And messes are okay sometimes.

8. It’s okay. Its okay to feel down sometimes. It’s okay to not want to do anything except cuddle with your dog and get kisses. It’s okay to take a moment to breathe. It seriously is all okay. Just always get back up and push through whatever you are going through. Never give up.

My dog Molly is the best dog in the world. Sure I may be biases here but it’s true. She has changed our lives and I’m forever grateful for her. She’s simply amazing.

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