Hello there everyone. I hope you all are doing well. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on here again. It feels like it’s been forever ago and I’m deeply regretting it. I’ve been getting that itch to write again for a while after building myself up with some courage and blessings.
The reason why I had stopped writing is because, honestly, I had lost myself. I no longer was my spunky and courageous self. Normally in life when things happen that drag me down, I may have my moments where I have a pity party but I always end up picking myself up right after and going at life even stronger than before. Life isn’t all full of sunshine and rainbows and I’ve always understood that. It has its ups and downs constantly. That’s just apart of this journey called life and you have to look for the blessings and keep pushing through. This time though, I was down for the count. I tried to stay strong and have faith but I let it all get the best of me. I felt like I was worthless, wouldn’t amount to anything, and was better off gone out of this world. Every day I would try my hardest to put a smile on my face for my Littles and be present but it didn’t work very well. It was hard to hide everything that was going on.
I eventually starting seeing how that and other things that were going on in our lives like my relationship with my children’s father were affecting my Littles. Slowly but surely I started noticing the changes in them and in myself as well. One day it was just completely eye opening to me and I was done. Completely done with all the negativity, the bad changes, all the blaming being on me, the no communication anymore, my Littles learning this is how a relationship is supposed to be and that this is what love is, the abuse, my son being filled with hate and sadness, my daughter being scared and anxious almost all the time, the fighting, the back and forth-ness, the being alone all the time, the feeling of being roommates, all the hatred, etc. Every single thing. I was done. Stick a fork in me, I was done.
I was ready to move on and that’s exactly what I did. I didn’t know where life would take my Littles and I or what would be in store for us but I had my heart and mind set on moving forward with lots of faith. I was scared then and wanted to turn back around for a long time just to go back to what I knew for so long. My Littles kept me moving though. Seeing the smile on their faces, hearing their encouragement, and knowing they believed me was so motivating.
Looking back now, I’m extremely proud. I did it. My Littles and I did it. It’s so easy to go back to what you know and what’s ‘comfortable’ but most times, it’s better not to. We are full of love, happiness, and blessings while living life to the fullest now. Still we have our moments just like everyone else but life is going good. We are happier than we have been in a long time.
There have been some changes in our lives that have definitely been blessings. Here are some of them:
I am now working for a good company doing in home care as a certified nursing assistant. The flexibility of it and the clients are amazing. I’ve met some very nice people that have really touched my heart thanks to the company. Towards the end of last year, I met an amazing man. His name is Darvel. I was so nervous and scared at first. After the relationships I’ve had though, that is kind of expected though. Honestly there was a huge part of me thinking that all men are the same and all that jazz. But another part of me is a huge romantic and believes in the happily ever after, even if I’ve never had that. I’m happy I took the chance with getting to know him and seeing what he’s all about. This man has changed my life. He’s showed me what a real healthy relationship and love is all about. I’ve never had to question his loyalty because he’s always showed it 100%. He’s never called me out my name or talked down on me. I’ve never had a man believe in me like he does. He always encourages me to do my best and motivates me. Sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me but Darvel has never made me question or doubt our relationship as well as him. He’s the strongest man I know. Anything he puts his mind to, he tries his hardest and accomplishes it. For example, he wanted to start a YouTube channel (Please feel free to check it out! Hilarious gameplay content. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYLIxz8jB8XVEEMjpJb9Vlg) and he’s went above and beyond for it. His parents have definitely raised an amazing man and taught him how to treat people right. My Littles completely adore him. They say he has to be with us forever and I agree. The love is mutual between my Littles and Darvel. He treats them like they are his own and helps me with them without me even asking. When they are having troubles, he’s there to help bring them back up and encourage them. Every day he teaches them another new thing. We couldn’t be happier. I love our little family.
Ju-Ju Bean is 10 years old now. In a few months she will be 11 years old (she makes sure she tells everyone that lol). This girl I tell you, she’s something else. She’s by far the best daughter ever (I may be biased obviously but seriously she is). Ju-Ju Bean is one of the most caring individuals that I have ever known. When she sees someone that is having a hard time, she tries her hardest to show them that she cares about them and show them love. Animals are very important to her. She has a huge love for them. If you ask her about cars, she knows almost all the different types of them. She has been collecting cars for forever. This has been her best year in school so far. She has friends for the first time in a long time, is doing so good, and absolutely enjoys it. Of course, Ju-Ju Bean still wants to be a teacher when she grows up. She plays school as a teacher with her friends and her toys always. Her black cat Bath is her best friend still and follows her every where.
Cruzier is 9 years old. He has had a great year so far. In school, he’s doing amazing. His teacher adores him and so does all his friends. Lunch and gym are still his favorites in school. He now has a kitty named Cowgirl that he got right before his birthday. She’s his best friend and the perfect cat for him. Gaming, playing sports, and just being outside in general are a few of his favorite things. With everything he tries, he puts forth the most effort I’ve ever seen. Every day is a new adventure with him. Ever since he was little, he’s taken us on little adventures every day making us step put of our comfort zone and making us appreciate everything. He’s the best higher in the world and knows exactly how to make you smile as well as laugh when you are feeling down. He has a passion for sports and loves being apart of a team.
That’s about all that is new for us so far. We are excited about what else life holds for us and are so blessed. Thank you for reading and I’ll be writing again soon.