A Different Perspective

Do you ever have moments where a lot of hard stressful things keep happening back to back in your life? Or moments when you have no clue where to turn to next? Or moments when you think your life is the worst it can be right now with all these bad things keep happening and are just praying hoping for the day everything will get better?

I have those moments a lot, and I sure do mean a lot. You know how people say bad things come in three’s? Well, bad things come in 10’s for me it seems like. I know when a few bad things start happening, I need to try and get prepared and put my big girl panties on because a lot more bad things are going to happen ASAP.

I used to think “Why me?” “Why would God let all this struggle happen to me?” “What did I do that is so wrong that all these bad things keep happening?”. I would have a huge pity party for myself. Behind closed doors, I would throw the biggest fit. I would scream, cry, and act like a little baby when everything just seemed to go downhill more than I could even imagine. I would want to give up because I didn’t know how I could pick up the pieces again from everything that has happened that is completely messed up for my Littles and I. Eventually I would pick myself right back up and keep trying my hardest to put everything back on track by fixing the problems but I would still have those negative thoughts and still be down on myself. When something good would happen, I wouldn’t believe it completely since I’m so used to all these bad things happening. I would push myself away from good things in a way. If I seen someone that had the perfect relationship with their loved one, an amazing bond with their Littles, the job or career that I wanted so badly, the home life that I so desperately hoped for I would get jealous that they have what I’ve wanted so badly. I knew it just wasn’t my time yet so I would try to stay positive and hopeful that one day, everything for my Littles and I would fall into place even though I always had the negative in the back of my head.

But then there are things that I happen to see, read, or hear that totally put everything bad into perspective that changes my whole outlook on my life and my so called “struggles” that have seemed so hard to get through.

I have very someone close to me that is going through a lot of life changing situations right now. She is a very strong, hard working, and amazing woman. Everything that is going on in her life is huge and heartbreaking right now. It’s devastating to see her and her family have to go through all this.

There is a page on Facebook that I absolutely love, even though it brings me to tears almost every time I look at it or it pops up in my news feed. It’s called Humans Of New York. They tell people’s stories of things that have happened in their lives one story at a time. They have a website too at Humans Of New York Website just in case you don’t have a Facebook and want to check them out.

Their page and website are amazing. It truly is. They travel and share people’s stories from around the world in their series. Humans of New York try to help as many people as they can that share their stories with them and let everyone know how they can help also. They have done Humans of New York, Humans of Pakistan, Humans of Iran, and now they are doing Humans of New York: Refugees Stories. Read a few of their stories they share and I can guarantee you that your outlook on life will be changed and your struggles won’t seem big at all anymore.

Here are a few of the stories they have shared recently:

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The picture of the beautiful family behind the story above

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The woman behind the story above

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Part 1

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Part 2

Every time I read one of these stories, it breaks my heart and changes everything for me and makes me think, wow my struggles aren’t anything compared to other people’s struggles that are way worse. I wish I can help all of the people that are struggling. These stories motivate me more to take action to do that and there are way worse things that could happen.

Things can change for the worst or the best in a blink of a eye and there’s not much you can do about it besides going with the flow and trying to keep yourself above the water. Fix all those relationships and broken bridges in your life. Those arguments that you can’t seem to get over with a friend or family member aren’t worth it. All that past hurt and anger that are still bottled up inside of you isn’t worth it. Those relationships you just cut off so quickly because of disagreements, the past, or things that hurt you that happened aren’t worth it. The more you hold onto all of that, the more it will only hurt you in the end. Forgive others, not for them but for yourself so you can be free from all the hurt, anger, and sadness. Actually live life. Laugh your heart out. Put down the camera and participate in the moments of life. Capture the moments in your brain so that you can always remember them always, not just when you are looking back at photos. Live in the moment. Live life! This is the only one you have.

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Reactive Attachment Disorder

Reactive attachment disorder is a rare but serious condition. It is when an infant or young child can’t establish healthy attachments with parents or caregivers. It may develop if the child’s basics needs for comfort, affection and nurturing aren’t being met and loving, caring, stable attachments with others are not established. With treatment, children with reactive attachment disorder may develop more stable and healthy relationships with caregivers and others. Treatments include positive child and caregiver interactions, a stable nurturing environment, psychological counseling, and parent or caregiver education.

Reactive attachment disorder can start in infancy. Some signs and symptoms may include withdrawal, fear, sadness or irritability that is not readily explained; sad and listless appearance; not seeking comfort or showing no response when comfort is given; failure to smile; watching others closely but not engaging in social interaction; failing to ask for support or assistance; failure to reach out when picked up; and no interest in playing peekaboo or other interactive games.

Infants and young children need a stable, caring environment to feel safe and develop trust. All of their basic emotional and physical needs have to be constantly met. A child needs are ignored or met with a lack of emotional response from caregivers does not come to expect care of comfort or form a stable attachment to caregivers. Most children are naturally resilient, and even those who’ve been neglected, lived in orphanages, or had multiple caregivers can develop healthy relationships.

The risk of developing reactive attachment disorder from serious social and emotional neglect or the lack of opportunity to develop stable attachments may increase in children who: live in a children’s home or other institution, frequently change foster homes or caregivers, have inexperienced parents, have prolonged separation from parents or other caregivers, have a mother with postpartum depression, and are parent of an usually large family where such parental time is scarce or available unequally or rarely.

The best treatment for a child with reactive detachment disorder is a positive, loving, stable, caring environment and caregiver. There’s no standard treatment but it should involve both the child and parents or primary caregivers. Early intervention appears to improve outcomes. Goals of treatment are to help ensure that the child has a safe and stable living situation and develops positive interactions with parents and caregivers. Treatment strategies include: encouraging the child’s development by being nurturing, responsive and caring; providing consistent caregivers to encourage a stable attachment for the child; providing a positive, stimulating, and interactive environment for the child; addressing the child’s medical, safety and house needs as appropriate; individual and family psychological counseling; education of parents and caregivers about the condition; and parenting skills classes. Without treatment, reactive attachment disorder can continue for several years and may have lifelong consequences.

This was one of my assignments to do with my internship so that I could get some background on what some of the children are going through in their lives. Researching reactive detachment disorder has really opened up my eyes and has helped me understand more about some of the children. Very eye opening.

New Adventure: Internship

Since I am almost done with school (YAY!!) I was chosen to do an internship with a juvenile group home by one of my favorite teachers. I am absolutely excited and nervous at the same time. This is what career field I want to go into, helping children in their time of need. I want to save all the children, as corny as that sounds. I know you can’t save everyone and you can’t save someone who doesn’t want the help at that time but I do know that you can be there for someone in their times of need to help support them and encourage them with showing them that there is still someone that cares for them. Now I’m definitely sure there will be many challenges to doing this internship but I couldn’t be happier that I will be able to try and help children in their time of need. That is what makes me tick, what makes me the most happy in the whole word. I know there may be hard, sad, and depressing times in their career field but being able to be there for others, especially children for me, in their times of need is just amazing to me and means the world to me. When I was in my times of need as a child, I had an amazing foster mother that helped show me that I wasn’t alone along with amazing counselors that helped show me the way with supporting me. It was so very helpful having amazing people be there for me along the way. I hope I can be there for children in their time of need and help as much as possible and maybe hopefully make a difference in someone’s life. That is my goal and I’m so happy I’m one more stop closer to accomplishing it. Wish me luck!

It’s Time to Face the Facts

This morning I’ve came to the realization my daughter is getting older. I have noticed it obviously before many times but now it’s staring me right in the eye even though I don’t want it to be true.

As usual now, I took my Littles to school and went to Breakfast Club with them and my nephew. When they were finished eating, I was taking them outside to their playgrounds. My daughter was holding my hand and walking close to me. My son was walking with my nephew laughing about a joke they were telling each other. One of my daughters new friends came next to us and my daughter quickly dropped her hand from mine and started going to the playground with her new friend. Normally, she holds my hand, walks with me, and gives me a hug with a big loving goodbye and then I bring my son  to his playground. Today was different. She went off with her friend and when I tried to say goodbye and remind her where to go after school to meet me, she quickly said she knows. There was no goodbye, no hug, no kiss. Nothing. Just a “I know.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy that she made friends and was playing with them. That makes me so unbelievably happy because she’s had a hard time making friends for a long time. It just makes me sad and realize that she really is growing up. She’s not my baby girl any more. When I got home, I went upstairs to turn off the lights my Littles left on. In my daughter’s room, I found all her shorts, skirts, and pants thrown all over her room since of course, she had to find the perfect outfit to wear to school like she always does. She’s always been kind of picky on what she will wear and picks what she thinks is the best outfit herself every day. Sometimes she has changed her clothes 3 times during the whole day because she can’t decide on which one is the best. But this, this was over the top for her. She’s never thrown all her clothes all over and tried on every pants, shorts, and skirts just to find the perfect one. If this isn’t a sign that she is growing up, I must be crazy. I remember taking out every piece of clothing in my closet almost every day trying to find the perfect one I wanted to wear but that was in middle school and high school. She’s only in 3rd grade! I thought this would came later, like way later.

It’s time to face the facts. My daughter is growing up. Both of my Littles are growing up. There’s no stopping it now. I’m beyond scared of what the future holds as my Littles keep getting older but I also have a lot of faith that everything will be okay and work out the way it’s supposed to. I just wish it would slow down. Even just a little bit. I want to snuggle, hold hands, and have fun together with my Littles a little more before they get even older and want nothing to do with me. Slow down Littles.

First Day of Third & First Grade

Today is my Littles’ first day of school. They were so excited! My daughter is in third grade and my son is in first grade. They are getting way too much older on me too fast. Both were nervous and excited at the same time. They picked out their outfits that had to be just perfect for their first day. It was so cute. They are going to a new school this year but two of their cousins are going to the same school as well so it should go well. They are in grades back to back from each other: kindergarten, first, second, and third. I was able to come to breakfast club, outside to the playgrounds, and walk them to their class rooms to help them feel comfortable. It’s almost the end of their first school day and I can’t wait to hear about how it went!

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8 Years Old

My beautiful amazing daughter just turned 8 years old a few days ago. I honestly can’t believe it. I can remember like it was yesterday the moment I pushed her out and held her in my arms for the first time. I was scared shitless but I knew that everything was going to be okay because it had to be. I knew things weren’t going to go perfectly and I had no clue what I was doing but things were going to be worth it all because of her. She was the most precious little sweet baby. Her little fingers would wrap around mine and she’d smile. We would sleep together with her right next to me. I loved to just look in her beautiful eyes and hold her.

Fast forward 8 years from then, my daughter is still my baby girl. She is unique, creative, smart, hilarious, sweet, protective, and amazing. Whenever someone is feeling down, she is right there to help pick their spirit right back up. No matter what, she believes in everyone and sees the good in them even if they can’t see it for  themselves. She is always making new things with her creative self for other people. I can’t believe 8 years has already passed and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for my daughter.

For her birthday party, we had a very nice party at our local McDonald’s play land with most of the people she loves. She got everything she wanted and more. On her birthday, she got to spend time with more people she absolutely loves and went out to eat. She had such a good birthday.

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Waiting for her birthday party to start

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