New Adventures In My Mom’s New Home

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The View From Their Home

This weekend my Mom and my Step dad moved into their new place. My Littles and I were blessed to see it, help unpack, and decorate. It was kind of a last minute plan for us to come for the weekend but it was well worth it. We got to feel like we are apart of the family and help prepare their new home. My Littles absolutely loved it just like I did. They got to help unpack the food in the fridge, put the beds together, and help clean up my Mom’s old home. I’m so thankful that my Littles and I could be apart of helping them with their new home and start making new memories together.

In the process of helping my Mom and Step dad, I’m beginning to feel closer than ever with my Mom which makes me feel like a huge relief has been lifted off of my shoulders. I feel like I can talk to her about anything and everything. If I need to talk to her about my Littles, relationships, or whatever, she will be there. We can relate to each other more now it feels. I love my Mom. She means everything to me. No matter what my Mom has been through, she has always held strong and made it through. She is one of my heros.

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My Escape

There is something about books that get me every single time. I love picking up a book, smelling that book smell, and getting lost in a new adventure as I read it. Every time I read, the book takes me in a whole new world where I don’t have to worry about anything and can just escape. Don’t get me wrong, I love where I am in my life with the loved ones in my life but it’s nice to have a little escape sometimes. I don’t drink or smoke or do drugs so this is my outlet when I just need to get away. Reading is what I do on my spare time whenever I can. I’ve finished all my books in my house already so now I’m trying to find some others. I’m at the library right now and they have a 50 cent sale on a bunch of books. You know that feeling when you see a bunch of fabulous shoes or amazing clothes or the most beautiful purses and you get beyond excited? That’s how I feel right now. Books do that to me. There’s just something about them that get me every time.

Where You Are

I used to wish that I was owning my own home right now, was in the perfect beautiful new car, was in the perfect marriage, and was in the perfect family for my Littles and myself. I used to envy anyone that had everything that I so desperately wanted. The truth is: we are excatly where we are supposed to be in life at this moment. Even if we don’t know what the reasons are, we are where we need to be in life right now. It doesn’t meant that we are going to stay stuck in this moment, it just means that right now we are in this moment for a reason. Even if you have no vehicle right now, are struggling beyond belief, or have no clue what to do. You are where you are supposed to be in your life right now.

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Instead of being mad and sad that you aren’t where you want to be in life right now, try to accept that everything happens for a reason because it truly does. Accept that you are right where you are in this moment in life. If you want to go further in life or do something different, put your mind to it and take the necessary steps to get there. You will only be at this exact moment exactly at this moment once. Look at the positives and enjoy it.

A Letter To My Son

To My Loving Son,
Over the past 6 years, you have grown in tremendous ways. You have became your own person. I’m beyond proud of you. I remember just yesterday when I had given birth to you and seen your cute little pudgy face while thinking I have no clue what to do but knew everything would work its way out since I had you. You’ve changed everything for the better. Over the years, you have helped teach me patience, confidence, respect, and the true meaning of love. You’ve helped show me that it’s okay to ask for help and that if you make a mistake, to always get right back up, apologize, and try better. With you, we are always going on new adventures to the moon, to Batman’s cave, to the scary forest, to the river, and everywhere else. There is not a day that passes that you aren’t teaching your sister, dad, and I something new in a new far away place. I have never met anyone as strong, courageous, loyal, giving, and confident as you. You always think of everyone else first and try to help others. Son, you are my hero in every way. I’m so happy that we have built our relationship up more and are closer than ever. I love you so much Son.

Love,
Mommy

Mother Forces Daughter To Get Ear Pierced In Outrageous Video

I seen this video today and I am completely in shock. This is a little girl who should have a right to say what happens in her life and what doesn’t. She clearly does not want to get her ears pierced but yet the so called “mother” makes her and puts her in a choke hold. That is no doubt abuse and the “mother” and two guys doing the piercing should be arrested and charged.

Love

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Love
Noun
1. an intense feeling of deep affection.
“babies fill parents with intense feelings of love”
synonyms: deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, endearment
2. a person or thing that one loves.
“she was the love of his life”synonyms: beloved, loved one, love of one’s life, dear, dearest, dear one, darling, sweetheart, sweet, angel, honey

Verb
1. feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).
“do you love me?”
synonyms: care very much for, feel deep affection for, hold very dear, adore, think the world of, be devoted to, dote on, idolize, worship

What does love mean to you?

To me, it means that you will be there for someone through thick and thin, accept them for who they are, encourage them to reach their highest potential, have respect, and do anything for them.

I’ve always been searching for love. In all the right and wrong places with the right and wrong people, that has been my goal. To be in love with someone that loves me just as much as I love them. I’ve been in love before but it never worked out. I did anything and everything for a man to please him and make him happy. I was there through everything and stuck by his side even when I didn’t think I could take it anymore. It was never the same in return. No matter how many times I tried and loved him, it never worked.

I am in love now, with myself and my Littles which is the most amazing thing ever that I have experienced. Although I’m not a size 5 or even a size 10, I love the way I look and everything about myself. I love my Littles and everything about them. They are perfect and who they are meant to be. Now I am no longer ashamed of myself or where my life has lead me. My Littles and I are in the right spot we are supposed to be in currently in life.

In life before we go looking for love in someone else, we have to start with ourselves. We have to love ourselves and be comfortable with being alone with ourselves. You have to fall in love with yourself and own it.

What Would You Have Wanted To Know?

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What would you have wanted to know before you became a parent?

For me, I would have wanted to know a lot than I did.

I would have wanted to know that yes, parenting is hard but to not be so hard on yourself. I’m very hard on myself and my worst critic. I want to be the best parent I can be possible for my Littles but I have doubts about how to be a parent so it’s really hard for myself and I get mad at myself and get down on myself a lot.

I wish someone would have told me more about positive attachment parenting. I’ve been slowly learning more about that parenting style and it seems to fit perfectly with my family. But I wish someone would have told me about it sooner or shown me examples or something about it so I could have started it sooner than now because it is hard to restart parenting in a whole new approach.

If someone would have told me more about post partum depression, it could have helped me in a million ways. I could have gotten help sooner than later with my son when he was born and not have no connection with him for a year and half.

Current Situation

I was there for most of my sisters pregnancy with my newest nephew, Miko. When she had troubles and joys in her pregnancy, I was there. Eventually when she went into labor, I was there for the whole labor and birth which was the first time I’ve ever seen anyone in labor or having birth besides myself when I had my littles. It was the most amazing precious beautiful moment I have ever witnessed. I’m so blessed to have been there to see that moment.

Miko is almost 6 weeks old now. I’ve seen him grow up the little bit that he has since he’s been born. I’ve been there for the ups and downs and new adventures. Miko has had a bunch of new milestones already such as him learning how to hold his head up, sleeping more through the night, and many more. I’m more attached to him than ever. He’s such a good little baby boy.

It’s been very hard with Miko for the two weeks. Last week Thursday night he got admitted into the hospital for RSV. He was having a lot of troubles breathing. It was heartbreaking completely to see him in the hospital struggling to breathe. He got a little better and came back home only to go back to the hospital because he couldn’t breathe again. Finally after a day or two again, he was feeling better and could come home.

Now this week I’ve been babysitting him for my sister since she has to work. The first day watching him was a breeze. My Littles were at school when I was watching him so I was able to spend some quality time with Miko and have my dog follow us around since she was jealous and curious. Wednesday to today, my Littles don’t have school since it’s parent teacher conferences. So now it’s Miko, my two Littles, my dog, and myself at home which is a complete handful. My Littles are older so they help out a bit but they also get into a lot and need a lot too. It’s constant whining, crying, yelling, fighting, and tattle telling with them which is driving me completely up the wall. Every time I get my nephew calmed down or sleeping, my Littles pop up with needing something or being loud or telling me something. I had a little bit of baby fever. Now, it’s completely gone and I mean completely. I can feel my uterus wanting to run out into incoming traffic. Don’t get me wrong though, I love my nephew, my Littles, and my dog but too much is too much.

Today is the past day I will be babysitting Miko. I will miss it and miss him. I’ll still be seeing him often but it was nice at times to spend this quality time with him. He is such a good baby. I love him and am very attached to him. It was also nice to know for sure now with some more experience that I’m at my limit for littles right now.

Quality Time With Cruzier

This weekend I had the pleasure of spending some quality time with my son. I’ve always been in his life since day one but with me having postpartum depression for a long time and being a single mom, it’s been hard to have some alone quality time with just him. It was much needed. I was little upset because we didn’t get to do much but it’s the time that was spend that means the most. We even did a little photo shoot with the both of us. Soon we will have to do it again soon.

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Adverse Childhood Experience Study

Wow. I just learned about the Adverse Childhood Experience Study and am surprised in a way at my score for the test. I scored a 10. This really just helps reinforce to me that I am doing the right thing as a parent to break the cycle for my littles and stick with positive gentle parenting.

Here’s a little bit about the ACE Study.
There are 10 types of childhood trauma measured in the ACE Study. Five are personal — physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical neglect, and emotional neglect. Five are related to other family members: a parent who’s an alcoholic, a mother who’s a victim of domestic violence, a family member in jail, a family member diagnosed with a mental illness, and the disappearance of a parent through divorce, death or abandonment. Each type of trauma counts as one. So a person who’s been physically abused, with one alcoholic parent, and a mother who was beaten up has an ACE score of three.

There are, of course, many other types of childhood trauma — watching a sibling being abused, losing a caregiver (grandmother, mother, grandfather, etc.), homelessness, surviving and recovering from a severe accident, witnessing a father being abused by a mother, witnessing a grandmother abusing a father, etc. The ACE Study included only those 10 childhood traumas because those were mentioned as most common by a group of about 300 Kaiser members; those traumas were also well studied individually in the research literature.

The most important thing to remember is that the ACE score is meant as a guideline: If you experienced other types of toxic stress over months or years, then those would likely increase your risk of health consequences. 

Here’s the link to the the test and to learn about what the ACE Study is:

ACE Study

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