Him

I don’t know what it is about him but I can’t stop thinking about him. Every moment of the day, I miss him. I wish he would just come back right this minute and we would live together again and be a happy family once again. We had only lived together once since our littles have been older now for a little less than a year. I want to try it again. I miss him. Our littles miss him. He says he misses our littles. I don’t think he misses me though. I know we’ve had our issues but for the majority of the year that he was living here and we were together and making things work, not just roommate parents, it was perfect. I was the happiest I’ve ever been and so were our littles and him. I want that back. For Christmas, my littles had our family as their top number 1 wish on their Christmas lists. Now for Little #2’s birthday, if you ask him what he wants for his birthday, he says he wants their dad here. That’s so devastating because no matter what I do, he won’t come back right now. I know we never know what will happen in the future so maybe in the future he will but right now he isn’t here and my littles and I are still heartbroken about it. I’ve apologized for pushing him away before and not being very nice. He’s apologized as well. That should all count for something at least but doesn’t seem like it does. I’ve told him how I feel and it doesn’t seem to matter. He’s the one I want. He’s the only one I want. I want to be with him and spend the rest of my life with him. I want to raise our littles together as a family. He’s the only one I want to do that with. He’s the only one I love, care about, and want to be with.

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