Hopefully Today Will Be Better

Last night was a horrible night for my son, Little #2. I thought everything was good since he finally had his Christmas program and he did amazing! He seen me and his aunt there. He was smiling up the storm! Of course, he was the loudest singer and knew all the actions/dances he needed to do! He loves to preform, dance, and sing. I was so proud of him and still am.

My sister gave me a ride to pick him and his sister, Little #1, up from school and when he seen me, he had such a sad face on. I think he wanted their dad to pick him up and was sad since he didn’t.

The rest of the evening, was horrible. Little #2 didn’t want anything to do with me or anyone else except their dad, who was at work. He kept screaming, crying, throwing a big fit, not listening, slamming doors, yelling, and having a major melt down all because he wanted their dad. It was so frustrating and heart breaking at the same time. Their dad works lots of hours out of town so sometimes can’t see them every day but makes sure he can call about every day. They also see him lots of weekends or every other weekend. It’s beyond hard for them and heart breaking for them when their dad was living with us for a year after barely seeing him for years before and now they got really close with him all over again.

It’s so hard because no matter what I try or do, I can’t soothe him at all or fix the problem. I know littles don’t always need or want someone to fix their problems for them, I learned that in counseling so now I do understand. Most of the time, they want someone to sympathize and be there for them by supporting, encouraging, and understanding them. So that’s what I’ve been trying to do and also find different ways to soothe him such as cuddling, talking about our feelings or about other things, and being there but it never works! All he wants is their dad but I can’t get him to be here or fix the problem for him. Last night, after a bunch of talks between him and his dad which helped a bit, he calmed down a bit but then was still sad so I agreed he could lay with me in my bed. I tried rubbing his back, singing to him, cuddling with him, holding him, etc. But none of it worked. He ended up crying in my arms to sleep for their dad. I was so heart broken. This happens at least twice a week that he has these meltdowns about wanting their dad.

Breakups are hard for littles. I’m so scared to ever get in a bother relationship because of fear if it doesn’t work out or they leave or something happens and the affect it will have on my littles and myself but mostly my littles. I want to put my littles in a big bubble to protect them from everyone and everything but of course I can’t.

Sometimes life is hard and stinks. People come and go. Breakups are hard, especially for littles. Also very hard when you can’t soothe or fix the problem for your littles.

Hopefully today will be better.


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