In my Drugs and Society class at school we had to do a addiction project. We had to pick someone we know that is a addict, preferably a recovering addict, and write their story. Part of the project was we had to present it also with preferably the person we did the project on so they can help tell their story too.
I picked someone very close to me. She was the first person that popped up in my head when I learned about this project.
Now for a long time I was really deeply mad at this person. Mainly because I believed she had a choice in doing drugs and had a choice with her actions and she chose bad choices that affected my siblings, myself, and many other people. For a long time I didn’t want to talk to this person or get close to her or anything. I was still mad, sad, and hurt.
I already in my head picked this person for my project and she agreed that I can do it on her.
I was still very nervous about it. This madness, sadness, and hurt had been holding me back in life in many areas. I didn’t want to get close to anyone and would only let very few people close to me but even when I did, I would push them away when they got too close because it was scary to me. Everyone in my life has left at one point or another so didn’t want to chance getting close to anyone else and then them just up and leaving. I was stuck in the victim state on mind in many ways for a long time too. It consumed me and so did the past.
I wasn’t sure if I could really do this addiction project on this special loved one of mine but I knew it would hopefully help. I knew I needed to get through this and also wanted deeply to fix my relationship with this person but didn’t know how to do so.
As I started doing this project, some details I got from asking the questions and getting the answers from her were surprising and in a way hurt to talk about. It made me want to close up again and push her away. To just find someone else with an addiction and do a project on them. But I knew I needed to do this and that I had to. For me. And for this special person. Otherwise, our relationship would be completely shot still.
After going to a few weeks of this class and talking more with this person, it really helped me understand the power of addictions and that when someone is an addict, the addiction becomes more powerful than the person and they can’t control it. It honestly really helped.
My classmates had done their projects and presented them during the past few weeks. Well, today was my turn to present my project with my special person. I was so nervous and was scared I was going to break down and not be able to do it. She was very nervous too.
The nervousness went away as we were presenting it. I asked the questions and she answered with most times going in more detail to describe her story more. She also answered questions from my teacher and classmates.
I was surprised with myself. I did tear up a few times but honestly, I’m not mad or hurt anymore. I forgive her. For everything in the past. Things happened that were out of her power because of her addiction and the power it had over her. She is truly sorry for her actions that hurt others and has changed her life around. I truly forgive her. And I’m beyond proud of her. She is such an amazing inspirational person and I’m so thankful that she is in my life. I finally feel like I have closure on that chapter of my life and I’m free from it. Love the power of forgiveness and this special person in my life.