Confidence

Recently Little #1 got her hair cut. My sister and I tried to do it but it didn’t turn out well. So we brought her to a nice hair cutting place for them to fix it. Her hair was about down to her shoulders but she never took care of it. Now her hair is shorter like around her ears. She has always been insecure about herself and didn’t like it at first when it was all done. I got her hair glitter and clips to try and help her like her hair. I felt so bad that she didn’t like it even though she said she had wanted it like that. Turns out she hated it. She thought she looked like a boy. I was so mad and upset at myself for saying she can get her hair cut and trying to do it with my sister. But I recently realized it’s not about me, it’s about how she feels about herself which is normal for kids to feel insecure about herself. Lesson learned about cutting her hair ourselves and have been trying to boost her self esteem.

We recently went to Goodwill. Little #1 and Little #2 got to pick out a shirt and a small toy. Little #1 found a head band thing that has some long blond hair on it. That’s the only thing she wanted. No toys, no books, nothing except that. I asked her why she wanted it and she said it’s because she doesn’t like her hair and all the girls in her class have long blond hair and she wants that too. I told her she is beautiful and doesn’t need to be like the other kids. Of course as a kid though she does want to be like other kids and to fit in. So I let her get it. Every day since then she would wear it. She even wanted to wear it during bedtime and her shower. I let her wear it most of the time but kept reminding her that she is beautiful and that she didnt need it. I was scared that her wearing it was going to get her picked on and of course I want to protect my baby. I went to counseling a few days ago and my counsler said it’s just something kids go through with their self esteem and it’s nice to try to boost her self esteem and let her know she is beautiful but next time I should ask her how she feels and looks instead of telling her how she feels and looks. She has to be confident by herself not just because someome is telling her to feel that way or how she looks. Kids have to make their own choices sometimes to learn.

She wore it every day until this morning. We were finishing up getting ready for school. I asked her to go brush her hair and teeth. When she came out she got her hat on and said that she isn’t wearing her fake hair today. I asked why. I was scared someone picked on her and that’s why. She said that she had it on at school yesterday and she looked in the mirror in the bathroom there. She said that she doesn’t think she needs it anymore because she is beautiful. Melted my heart. She learned that on her own and was proud of herself and confident in herself. Beyond proud of my baby girl!

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One thought on “Confidence

  1. Matriarch of Nerds says:

    This melted my heart and brought back a memory. I just called in my 16 year old daughter to read this post, because years ago she had the same experience. I remember how sad it was when she cried because she thought she looked like a boy, too. I love reading your posts, because they are so familiar to me. You are a very loving mother, and your children are very blessed to have you.

    Liked by 1 person

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