Parenting is the Best in Many Ways

There are many times when parenting is the best thing in the whole world.

Like when you see the smiles on your littles faces, after a long stressful day, that instantly change your whole day and make you feel 100x better.

Like when you are feeling lonely at night and then open your eyes and maybe move around a little bit, and guess who is right there? Your littles. Cuddling with you and taking up the whole bed. Amazing feeling.

Like when you used to hate holidays because of family issues and a messy past, but now can’t wait until the holidays like Christmas just because you get to see the smiles on your littles faces and get to spend time with them.

Like when you don’t want to wake up because you are so comfy in bed but you now want to since you get to spend time with your beautiful littles.

Like when your littles are the most amazing thing that has happened to you ever and make your life worth it every moment of every day.

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Elf on the Shelf

Our Elf on the Shelf: Elfis Buddy came!! His special deed was to share with everyone! Sharing is caring. He even brought some m & m’s for them to share!

That was the quickest thing he could think of since he overslept lol but the littles loved it!! Oh the things you do for your littles 👧👦💞💖👌

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Parenting Sucks Ass at Moments

Parenting sucks ass at moments.

Like when both littles are on the sides of you, your dog is at your feet, and the wall is at your head so there’s no where to move while your littles pull at each arm since they can’t sleep without your arm apparently.

Like when you need to get up to pee badly but can’t be because you’ll wake up your littles so uou have to chance peeing your bed.

Like when you want to make a absolute beautiful yummy meal but decide against it since your littles will definitely not eat something that you want like shrimp or pork chops.

Like when you want to write your heart out on your blog but have to be careful what you write because you have a 7 yr old little over your shoulder peering at what you are writing when at first you don’t realize that they are until they ask something embarrassing about what you are writing.

Like when you just want a little piece of quiet for maybe 10 minutes tops which isn’t too much to ask for but of course, your littles have way more than that on their minds and can’t concept the idea of 10 minutes of piece and quiet.

Like when you go put on some clothes within maybe 5 minutes since you have to hurry up and get your littles ready for school and have no time to get yourself ready for school so you put on whatever you can find and your littles look at you like you’re crazy when you head out the door and ask if you are really going to wear that….

Like when you are tired of watching kid movies and kid shows so you try to sneak a grown up movie (yay!!!!) when they are up stairs finally playing together nicely, and you swear that they must have amazing hearing even though they don’t listen to you at all since they come down the stairs that moment when you put your feet up and get ready to enjoy the grown up movie finally and they demand to watch a kid movie.. sigh..

Parenting sucks ass at moments.

Things Change

It’s insane how things can happen in a day,  in a moment and change the whole day. Things were going good today. I even let go a little bit. My littles and I painted, had fun, watched movies, talked, worked on their workbooks, and went good. All that was kind of huge for me because I’m a control freak most of the time but trying to let loose of that.

But then it happened. The arguing, the yelling, the back talk, the fighting, the not listening, the impatience, the rudeness, the attention fighting, the no respectful ness, all the bad negative things. All of that totally ruined today. Really sucks.

Tomorrow will be a new day though and will be better, I hope.

Day 4 Blog Challenge

Day 4 Blog Challenge: Post a picture about youself with a description about yourself.

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I’m 25 years old. I have two children. I call them my littles. Little #1 is my daughter who is 7. Little #2 is my son who is about to be 6 soon. They are my life. Everything I do, is for them and for the better of us.

I have a big messy past. But it has helped shape me into the woman I am today. The past doesn’t define me or make me a bitter person. It has just taught me a lot of lessons about life in all aspects.

It’s always easy to say the bad difficult things, since that’s all you hear inside your head constantly, but very hard to hear the good positive things so I bunched them all up. I’m a hopeless romantic. I believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. For a long time, up until recently, I didn’t trust anyone. I held grudges for a long time and never forgave anyone until I learned how to forgive recently. I didn’t believe in happily ever after and I believed every thing had to be hard all the time. I knew you had to work for everything you had and wanted. I didn’t let anyone get close to me and if I did, I pushed them very far away when I realized I did. For a long time, I wasn’t a very nice person and judged everyone. I believe that there is greatness in everyone in their own special way. I give second chances as much as possible now. I try my hardest to help out everyone. I’m in a growth change period in my life right now. I love colors. I need colors in my life or I get sad and depressed. I love kids. I love arts and crafts. I love to make things. I’m trying to teach my littles everything they need to know and be a good mom but I have no clue how to do so.

Late Thanksgiving Thankful Project

Today my littles and I made our late thanksgiving thankful project. It was last minute kind of because all the sudden I felt the need to make a awesome project with them and do some arts and crafts.

We painted our hands, put them on paper, wrote all the things that we are thankful for, and decorated our hand turkeys more. It was a very nice calm thankful project. I’m glad we did it.

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Quality Time with Little #1

Yesterday my Little #1 came home from their dads early. I was beyond excited because that means we would get to spend some much needed quality time together!

We spent time together with our dog watching movies, visited my sister and her kids, had a sleepover in my bed, spent the early night talking about funny things and things that we needed to talk about, ate some yummy ice cream thanks to my sister, watched more movies, wrote notes to people, and spent some amazing time together. It was well needed and well worth it.

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                 The note she wrote me

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               The note she wrote her dad

Day 3 Blog Challenge

Here is my day 3 Blog Challenge: Where will you be in five years?

In five years, I’m hoping and praying that I will have graduated college with a Criminal Justice Associated Degree, have a good career in that field as either working in the child protection services department or working in a similar place helping juveniles, have a bigger home that I work hard for, continuing raising my littles, and going through the process to do foster care to help out juveniles. That are my targets in the next five years and I will achieve them. 💞

Day 2 Blog Challenge

Here’s my day 2 Blog challenge since I missed it yesterday. Name and describe five of the greatest moments in your life:

1. The day Little #1 was born. I had just turned 18 about two weeks before I had her. Her dad and I had a rocky relationship now before we had her and I was so scared. Scared that I wasn’t going to know what to do, that I didn’t know how to be a mom, that I was going to ruin her life, that I was going to be a bad mom, that I was bringing her into a bad world, etc. But then after a hard labor and horrible pushing, there she was. She had a head full of beautiful brown hair and the biggest brown eyes. She was 6 pounds 12 ounces. I couldn’t believe how small and how beautiful she was. It was a scary but beautiful exciting experience.

2. The day Little #2 was born. The pregnancy was a horrible difficult one. Lots of drama, adoption decisions, arguing, stress, sadness, etc. I wasn’t  sure if we could keep him since their dad was against it since we were already struggling with raising Little #1 financially and struggling emotionally together and weren’t together after a while. I met with a adoption agency, found the perfect family, was still deciding, and then went into labor and all the sudden, their dad changed his mind and said we had to keep him. It was the hardest thing. When Little #2 was born, it was a difficult time but he was so amazing. I didn’t feel like he was mine at all but he was such a amazing baby. So beautiful. I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to look at him forever.
3. The moment my littles met. It was such a special moment. It was instant love.

4. The moment I realized that I’m stronger, braver, brighter, and could do this without much doubt in my head anymore. That was recently when I did the workshop last month. Such a amazing experience.

5. When I learned how to forgive, work through my problems, and learn how to trust again. My life has changed in many ways since then.

Co Parenting Sucks

Co parenting just sucks big time when the parents no longer live together. Plain old sucks majorly. There’s no sugar coating that.

I thought it was going well. I really did. For a while. We were getting along well, communicating like we never have before, being civil towards each other even when we weren’t agreeing on something, putting our best foots forward for our littles, making everything about them for the better. We were actually getting along and doing well as a parenting team for the first time in 7 years and it actually lasted about two months. Big accomplishment right there! We were so proud and so were our littles.

And then it happened. I started expecting more from him as a father to our littles and expecting him to be there in all ways as a father to them like he should be. He suggested we hook up casually. Went well. We both made clear it wasn’t going to change anything and there were no feeling or attachments. Then I suggested the same but more like a hook up session we have never done before that included our fetishes, no attachments, no talking, role playing, etc. Both of us were really into it. Didn’t end up happening because of my schooling that day. Both were bummed. Then something happened with Little #1 and I needed him as her father to be there and so did she. But he wasn’t completely. Maybe a little over the phone. But that was it. Not okay. It was a major issue that needed to be addressed. Then something happened with Little #2. He was being very aggressive, beating me up, throwing things, etc and I needed their dad there to help and so did he. But he wasn’t there. Maybe a little through the phone but not there like he should have been.

Now everything has changed. There’s barely any communication. There’s no being civil. There’s no helping. There’s no nothing. I’m over it.

Co parenting sucks ass!!!